Saturday, April 25, 2009

rooted in love.

i am pretty excited to meet the person God has created me to be. i have had glimpses of this person in the past but was never comfortable with her enough to let her stick around. for a person who has struggled with self-esteem issues lifelong, this is both challenging and comforting. i've dealt with all those typical 'girl' issues in life- being pretty/skinny/smart enough- and i'm so glad that God calls us to a higher place in life, a place where God is bigger than those issues. when i see myself through the lens of God's truth, i get really excited because i actually like that version of me, and the old version of me who wants to please and be loved by everyone is really very tired. in God i have realized that i am smart, loving, loveable, worthwhile, sensitive, understanding, sweet, charming, talented, wise, beautiful, and good. those last two are probably the hardest for me to say because i've had such issues with seeing myself as either of them- i always thought i had to be pretty and nice for people to love me, and i struggled with being either of those through different times in my life. i've felt ugly and mean, in fact i've felt downright horribly about myself; i've thought that i was unlovable in my messy state. how untrue this is! i am so thankful that God has shown me how much He loves me and accepts me as i am and gives me all that i need to become all that He has created me to be. when i catch a glimpse of His truth and see things with Godly perception, it blows my mind!

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