Tuesday, August 31, 2010


i have a mini-project right now. i've been wanting to do something like 'this' for a while, just not exactly sure what 'this' is. something like a group of people writing encouraging letters to each other, like a penpal group? i just know that there are friends of mine who could use encouragement and prayer and if i can be a vessel, i'd be encouraged too...

life is slowly returning 'back to normal' and oddly, i'm not sure how to handle it! ive been trying to 'coach' myself into enjoying life again, saying 'its ok to be happy' here and there and to find peace again. i guess we really didn't know how bad this former living situation was until we were out of it, and now i want to slam that door shut and run like hell! God is so good in his provision and in the way he wants to bless us. i can't wait to grow into that person that he wants me to be and i feel like i'm getting closer and closer.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

from darkness into light.

things are finally starting to look up...

my last post was written from a pretty dark place. eric and i were both feeling very lost and hopeless for a while and it looked as though we might have to throw in the towel. God had other plans for us though, and through His provision we will be moving in to the apartment we looked at a few months ago which, by divine intervention, was still available (a serious miracle- the person who'd applied for it somehow got turned down). when we first looked at the place, we fell in love with it- it was in the area that i'd been wishing we lived in and it had everything we'd been wanting: more space, a dishwasher, and a balcony. i realize that doesn't sound like much, but in the DC area, a simple place like this is soo expensive (try $1025 monthly!) we thought it would be too expensive for us, and although we nicknamed it 'our dream apartment,' we forgot about it and planned to stay where we were. things got worse at our current apartment and we determined that God was prompting us to move out. so, without a new apartment lined up, we stepped out in faith and gave our 30-day notice to our landlord. shortly after, we applied for the 'dream apartment,' knowing full well that they would check with our current landlord (who has unreasonably badmouthed us to other tenants) and our employers to see how much money we make. miraculously, our landlord gave us a great reference, and the property manager approved us for the apartment even though we BARELY made enough money to meet the income requirement. i knew that if we were given the opportunity to move into this place, it was by God's hand and His desire to bless us...

right now we are packing and I'm sick, but I'm still very excited to move this weekend and be done with this awful apartment we've been stuck in for the last year. i'm more than excited at the thought that having a place to live in that we can enjoy will improve our experience here.

finally we can have space for a REAL bedroom and not a 10' by 10' box.
we can have a dining area and a living room and enough room for us BOTH to have 'studio space,' which means more artwork/sewing/crafts/printmaking/THERAPY.
we can have people over, and people can come visit and actually stay with us and not feel cramped.
we can have meals and drinks out on our own balcony.
we can walk A SINGLE BLOCK to the BEST farmer's market in the area (that is open year-round)!
we can ride our bikes to the store, or to one of the many restaurants down the street.
eric can ride his bike to school AND work and rely much less on the metro.
we can get involved in the thriving community that we will be living in.

yeah. i'm excited. and thankful that God pays any attention to us at all, let alone meets our needs in such awesome and beautiful ways.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

pray me through.

if you read this (if anyone reads this, really), please pray for us...

i'd mentioned in my previous post that i'm not a big fan of what i call "negative attention," meaning that i don't really like to throw myself a pity party, complain, etc. I really don't. but as you see here, i'm getting out of that comfort zone because, well, we need help. we need brothers and sisters. we need God. and it's been ridiculous of me to pretend that we didnt.

right now our living situation is at a crossroads. the place we've been living for the past year or so is no longer acceptable for us, for a few different reasons. we're stepping out in faith, choosing not to renew our lease for next year, and totally relying on God to lead us to a place that we can be comfortable and safe in. the cost of living here is sky high and a lot of places won't even consider our application unless we make a minimum income (which we usually don't), which kind of turns the whole apartment search into a game of chance. unfortunately, if we can't find a place to live, we'll have to come home to Indiana and Eric will have to finish his degree some other time (if they'll even let him return), having wasted his time and money here. our only other options besides somehow finding an apartment is to rent out a room somewhere, more than likely with strangers, or for me to go home and let him live in the dorms. obviously we'd prefer to find an apartment for ourselves, but it would take a miracle for us to find a clean, safe, comfortable place. we are totally relying on God to see this happen if it's His will...

Monday, March 8, 2010

a list.

so i have this weird quirk where i fear 'negative attention.' like, i fear weird things like fainting in public places, getting injured in front of others, and having panic attacks in public because i don't want anyone to think something's "wrong with me". that being said, i haven't really had anything good to say about living in maryland for the last 6 months, so i kind of haven't said anything at all...! i guess i've somehow gotten to this place where i don't like to complain to others about my life situation out of that sort of fear, like 'if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.' i'm only bringing it up now because i am finally starting to enjoy being out here. it's been rough: new home, new jobs, new schools, being newlyweds, being far from family, etc., all without a church family or friends nearby to lean on. eric and i have both struggled with depression, stress, and anxiety with our new living situation. we have plenty of friends and family supporting us from afar, but it's obviously different. we've been to different churches and have tried to make friends and find community, but it's all been very strained with our schedules and our different ways of living. it's hard to believe how different cultures can be with 500 miles between them. we still don't feel like we can relate to most of the people and lifestyles in this area and are excited about coming home one day, hopefully with a degree for eric after all is said and done.

i've always been a list-maker and enjoy trying to see the positive in all things, so here's a list of all the things i am growing to enjoy about living here:

*sticky fingers vegan bakery and cafe
*another vegan cafe that is a short bike ride from our home
*being THISCLOSE to the metro and some great metro stops
*having so much to do and so close
*having a discount at the 32349080 whole foods stores near our home
*being near IKEA!
*my gym membership (even if i don't go)
*being close to the beach and the mountains
*small bars with awesome fries
*a million places to get good falafel
*smoothie king & bubble tea
*all the free museums and the free zoo
*the amish market
*the national mall
*tons of history

...and hopefully this list will grow.