it's been about a month since march 18th. i know being vague is just *so mysterious* and what not, but it will suffice to say that march 18th of 2009 was probably one of the worst days of my life. i continue to say "bleh!" in it's general direction. but! my point is that it's been a month. a month of ups and downs and highs and lows and tears and peace. i'm glad to look back and see 31 days between myself and that awful place. to be honest, everything that has happened has been worthwhile, even the hard parts. i know that there are things happening in my life that wouldn't have happened otherwise...
one of those things that i am especially thankful for is my growing love for others. God had been laying on my heart a need to be with others in community, and although i shared His desire, i just didn't know how to make it happen in myself. God is truly loving me through others and challenging me to find out what it means to have true brothers and sisters. before this, i had no idea how much i really needed a family in the body of Christ- for so long i've distanced myself from people, afraid of being hurt or not being 'accepted.' i've learned that because i am truly accepted by God, i can be accepted by others and accept them in return. being hidden in Christ is a great comfort to me, and i am still only at the tip of the iceberg in terms of understanding how God sees and loves me. for me, this is all very necessary and exciting stuff to be learning! i know that we only know in part, but i feel that God has given me huge amounts of understanding in terms of how He's working in my life and around me, and that is such a huge blessing, especially for someone who always likes to have the answers.
"...our darkest nights are days to You..."