long dark blues

i have a mini-project right now. i've been wanting to do something like 'this' for a while, just not exactly sure what 'this' is. something like a group of people writing encouraging letters to each other, like a penpal group? i just know that there are friends of mine who could use encouragement and prayer and if i can be a vessel, i'd be encouraged too... life is slowly returning 'back to normal' and oddly, i'm not sure how to handle it! ive been trying to 'coach' myself into enjoying life again, saying 'its ok to be happy' here and there and to find peace again. i guess we really didn't know how bad this former living situation was until we were out of it, and now i want to slam that door shut and run like hell! God is so good in his provision and in the way he wants to bless us. i can't wait to grow into that person that he wants me to be and i feel like i'm getting closer and closer.

things are finally starting to look up... my last post was written from a pretty dark place. eric and i were both feeling very lost and hopeless for a while and it looked as though we might have to throw in the towel. God had other plans for us though, and through His provision we will be moving in to the apartment we looked at a few months ago which, by divine intervention, was still available (a serious miracle- the person who'd applied for it somehow got turned down). when we first looked at the place, we fell in love with it- it was in the area that i'd been wishing we lived in and it had everything we'd been wanting: more space, a dishwasher, and a balcony. i realize that doesn't sound like much, but in the DC area, a simple place like this is soo expensive (try $1025 monthly!) we thought it would be too expensive for us, and although we nicknamed it 'our dream apartment,' we forgot about it and planned to stay where we were. things got worse at our