long dark blues

so i hate opening the mail. it's always bills and credit card offers and miscellaneous stuff that i'm not interested in. i let it pile up for months at a time on my desk until i dont have any desk left, then i'll sit down one day and open everything and divide it into either a) the trash pile, or b) the 'shred' pile. today was that day. i got up this morning, began opening piles upon piles of health insurance crap, credit card offers that i'll never consider, bank statements that i'd already seen online, etc... then i got to a big manila envelope from IUPUI. i thought it was probably an advertisement or newsletter or something i should probably just throw away, but i openend it anyway, and this is what i found: aaah! who would've thought? i screamed "oh my God" a few times and then ran into my mom's bathroom to show her even though she was mid-shower. i've never EVER been on the dean's list before, not even close!!! maybe i will s

an amazing present from eric. it's hard to see, but in the lower right-hand corner the words "sister" and "daughter" are written in hebrew. ironically, i gave him a silver ring with the words "brother" and "son" in hebrew. it's strange because i kind of told myself that if we gave each other 'complimentary' gifts for valentine's day, it would be a sign from God that everything will work out as we hope it will. it's certainly making this season much more bearable. i wish there were more hours in the day. i dont have time to do all the things i want to do. i get so depressed when, at 6:00 pm at night, i realize that all i've done for the day is read a book and put away laundry. this winter is so confining. i'm anxious to go for hikes, picnic, run and jump and throw my arms up into the air under the stars. i guess for now i've settled for eating more fresh strawberries and keeping the food dehydrator running at al

also. i need to get out more. this past week had me so busy that i slept for approximately 13 hours last night/today, and now that i have time to actually do something, i have no ideas/partners in crime. today i plan to go grocery shopping and hopefully read a book. other than that, it's depressing.

1) i studied really hard (all night) for a geography exam that i had to take last tuesday. i got a 554 out of 600 (a weird scale!) which equals out to an A. the weird thing is, i studied with the girl who set the curve- she got a 596 out of 600! jeeeeez. 2) yesterday i took d'arcy to the vet for a check-up and she just happened to be sick also. so the vet took her temperature and checked her out- she had a fever of 104.9 and her heart rate was 180. the vet really really wanted me to admit her overnight for a few nights to get some IV fluids into her system, but my family and i just couldn't afford it, so we went with the more conservative option of putting her an antibiotic in pill form and we gave her a bath when we got home. we were all really upset and the plan was to take her back to the vet this morning so that she could get 6 hours of IV's to try and break the fever. well, when we took her in to the vet this morning, her fever had dropped to 99.6! sooo much better.

... and thus commenceth thy food dehydrator experimentation. i have apple chips, banana chips, orange rind, and orange slices on this batch. over the weekend i did a preliminary test batch of banana chips and apple chips which turned out awesome despite my choice to forgo any pre-treatment; the owner's manual suggests dipping the fruit in lemon juice or some other chemical type mixtures to help the fruit keep its color and taste but i skipped that and everything turned out awesome. this batch is for a co-worker's birthday tomorrow; she is my fellow natural-food enthusiast so i am excited to bless her with something hand made yet edible. in other news, i've organized a clothing drive at work to benefit "Dress for Success," a group that gives disadvantaged women free professional attire to help them secure employment. it's been really awesome to have something motivate me from the mundane mood i've been in :)

today i went outlet shopping with two awesome friends, allie and haley. haley (on left) and i actually grew up in the same neighborhood, with our backyards touching, and somehow ended up attending the same church in our adult lives. on the way to meet at allie's, i was driving east on I-70 when i saw a tumbleweed! it was only 5 or 6 inches in diameter but it was most definitely a tumbleweed. it gave me a chuckle. we loaded up and headed to the outlet mall in Edinburgh for an awesome day of shopping. ate lunch at max and erma's, where i was good and ate the 'healthy' option off the menu. then we hit the stores. puma outlet, adidas outlet, clarks outlet... all overpriced! i wanted some new running shoes but couldnt find any to suit my feet/budget. then we went to the gap outlet. i had a gift card from christmas and i sufficiently spent it on a new blouse, two camisoles, and a tank top. i love the tanktops and camisoles from gap outlet, they're so cheap and comfortable

i dont like to feel sorry for myself. i know that things will get better, that i must be patient, have faith, etc... but in knowing those things, i think i'll allow myself to write something sad and depressing if i feel the need to let it out. i tend to think that anger and depressing stories can make people feel put-off, but i'm sick of sugar-coating things. i feel like if i dont face some of this stuff, i wont get over it. on that cue, i felt like the world was very quiet today. i know it was quiet in mine. feeling alone in the world can either turn the volume up or down on everything going on around you. i might prefer the latter.