long dark blues

saturday eric and i had a picnic in the park. some chili, cornbread, and an awesome salad from whole foods. did i mention how much i love that he works at whole foods?! i told him he can never quit. after our picnic, we drove up to muncie to see some friends: (josh) (michelle, on the right, with baby heron) (allie, on the right, with shiloh) so once i upon a time, i myself lived in muncie while i went to ball state, and there was a chinese restaurant that was my most favorite ever because they had amazing bean curd. so after the show, i begged my friends to go there for dinner. i was glad when they obliged and i got to eat my most favorite 'bean curd home style.' however, i was not as glad when we all took turns barfing up the chinese food immediately after. china express is officially no longer my favorite chinese restaurant :( i'm off to study for a big math exam! wish me luck!

with all this talk about The Way lately, i was kinda intrigued by a program on TV tonight about cults and brainwashing. has anyone heard of Growing in Grace Ministries ? scariest thing ever! this guy believes he has "Jesus' mind", has his followers tattooing 666 on their forearms (because "religion" has been lying to us for years about its significance), has people doing whatever he asks, and has no problem saying that he's done more miracles than Jesus Christ. the sad thing is the number of followers he has... bright, charming young people who've bought into it. it really broke my heart and took my breath away. deception is something that really gets to me lately and this may take the cake.

on tuesday eric and i went to sigur ros in detroit with three other people. it was an amazing show for sure, although i couldn't see the stage for all the tall people in front of me (i'm 5'3" people!) and the two guys next to us were obnoxious the whole time (they aggravated 6 people to the point of leaving!). the trip to detroit was strange for me though, i realized it had been a really long time since i'd taken a road trip, let alone with 3 people i barely knew. i'm sure i gave off the 'wallflower' vibe, which is really fine with me as long as people don't misinterpret it. i promise i am working on being more socially adept. i've been growing mentally a lot lately, re-learning how to think and what to believe. in a spiritual sense, i've been deceived most of my life about who i am, and now i can see how other people have been deceived as well. it really lays heavy on my heart. hopefully my 'opening up' can help others to do the

lately i've been trying to find more sensible shoes. it makes me feel old saying this, but i have chronic foot pain and nearly every pair of shoes i own hurts my feet after 3-4 hours or wear. i've been reluctant to admit it but the more cheaply-made the shoes is, the more it hurts my feet. this makes me sad because like most girls i enjoy cute, inexpensive shoes. so... yesterday i ordered these keens in dark mossy green through a shoestore in indy: i have always been a sucker for mary janes. in fact when shopping with my mom, if i'm checking out a pair of mary janes, mom will say, "don't you think you have enough mary janes?" oh well. this company makes really comfortable and well-made shoes so i think it's worth it. i might even buy some boots of theirs. we'll see what winter brings. i really should start getting rid of all the shoes that cause me problems, but then i'd have barely any shoes left :(

i'm such a nerd. lately i get such a kick out of food/beverage containers. a few weeks ago eric bought me one of these with his whole foods discount: mine is just like this but silver with a black cap. it's huge! it makes me feel like i'm going camping whenever i carry it with me. today i bought this: i was actually hoping for something a little fancier than this one, but i was impressed by its ability to keep food hot for 7 hours. i'm excited to be able to use this and actually take something "dinner-esque" to eat between my classes at school. it's either that or max out my student account at the food court... i realize this may make me totally nerdy, but i actually feel inspired when i buy stuff like this. like one day i might just pack up some soup and a sandwich and my fancy sigg bottle and hop on my bike and take a mini-adventure. i've noticed that eating a packed lunch by myself is actually one of the most peaceful, enjoyable moments i'

amidst all this sadness running amuck in my head, God is gently trying to remind me who i am in Him. this is something i have struggled with actually for many years. tonight i was reminded that i am a creative individual with a unique view of the world... it's been a while since i've felt any sort of crafty inspiration. i'm thankful for it. i'm also thankful in understanding what it means to find my identity in Christ rather than by wordly definitions... hopefully that will get easier. the other day d'arcy did the cutest thing. so you've heard of the crazy cat lady? well, i'm gonna be the crazy dog lady and post pictures of my dog. sorry. feel free to caption it and send it to 'ihazahotdog.com'. so d'arce being an ol' lady dog hasn't been feeling well, and on one particularly painful day for her, i found her like this- curled up in her bed with her 'baby' under her arm. my heart broke and i gave her some pain meds and a cooki

fall is finally creeping back in, and i'm beginning to feel more and more alive. ironically, i am also dealing with what is possibly the deepest and darkest thing that i've ever had to deal with in my whole life. i won't go into details for internet's sake but i will say that there is no way i'm letting this 'thing' ruin my fall. fall has been and always will be the most important time of the year for me and, if i can just get my homework/school schedule under wraps, i plan on maxing it out this year. i am excited for: bike rides, tea drinking, crocheting, trips to the orchard, baking, craft times, apple cider, sweaters, colored leaves, awesome playlists, homemade soup in a thermos, hats and scarves, day trips, rosy cheeks, boots, oatmeal, quiet time, hoodies, outdoor games, bonfires, beans and cornbread, brown county, long walks... what am i missing?