my life is incredibly boring right now. i can sense God trying to do lots of work in me, but of course my understanding is so feeble at times that i can tell i'm fighting it somewhat. normally my time is so occupied with so many things, but now that eric and i are spending time apart, i find myself restless and not knowing what to do on a saturday afternoon. today i chose to spend the day in bed, mostly because i could, with a book by beth moore about overcoming strongholds. it's probably a good thing i did too, because my parents were gone almost all day, so that gave me some time to get quiet and pray. it's hard for me to do that when my parents are home, strangely.
on a more positive note, i am trying to orchestrate a study abroad. i'd like to go this summer, and hopefully when i come back i will be a full-time student with a part-time job. if my plans continue as i hope they do, i will have a degree in a little over a year! that makes me very excited.
so far, i'm looking at programs going to mexico and central america. everyone says you should go to spain, but to be honest, the flight across the pacific scares me to death. enough to make me want to stay in this hemisphere! i've flown to venezuela before, and since i seem to have handled that just fine, i may try for argentina, ecuador, peru, costa rica, etc... whichever place has the sort of program i need. of course funding is going to be an issue, so i'm trying to research scholarships and grants and financial aid. fingers crossed!
i'll end on a more important note... God has really laid on my heart the need for me to find fellowship, and more specifically, someone who i can be accountable with. i sense this need also, but over the years i've developed some sort of fear of people, especially the deeper relationship involved in an accountability friendship. if anyone reads this, please pray that God will lead me to fellowship, brothers, and most specifically, a sister. and please dont feel any pressure to try to fulfill that yourself!
p.s. d'arcy is doing much better!