long dark blues

something that i've been especially thankful to learn in my walk with Christ is how to be joyful in my trials and tribulation. i can't say i'm good at it or that it doesn't hurt still, but i've been blessed with mountain-moving faith in this area. the past few weeks have been difficult; i've had to deal with one thing after another- deaths in the family, as well as an especially painful event that i never, ever imagined would transpire in my life. but! i am still here. i am still believing. in fact, i am believing that God can and will take all this awfulness and bring something truly amazing up out of it. He has already changed me in ways that i could not change myself, even though i wanted to so badly. i believe that i am lucky to serve a God who is faithful even when i am not, a God who loves me regardless of how poorly i may love others, a God who loves me enough to turn my ways from the grave, and a God who loves me enough to discipline me. i am le...

will someone tell me what is up with rude drivers? this is my biggest pet peeve. i used to have some pretty bad anger issues, and i honestly feel like i have a handle on all my old triggers EXCEPT for rude drivers! like, it's totally okay to cut someone off or ride their tail because there are vehicular bodies between you- since you aren't face to face, in the flesh, it's OK to drive like a jerk! at least that's what people seem to think. people are always tailing me on my way home from school, like im just going waaaaaay toooo slooow, but hello, im doing 75 mph in a 70 zone. i figure thats safe enough but nooooooo, dudebrah's SUV isn't emitting enough toxins at this speed, so i either gotta move out of the way or speed up. what happens if i do neither? i have to admit i kinda like pissing people off in this way. if i just stay in my comfy 75 mph zone and play dumb, eventually i'll get the brights flashed at me or they'll wise up and go around. ...

i was very irritated today to realize that someone had stolen my calculus textbook from my car. at first i thought that someone must be really bored to be stealing textbooks, but when i realized that i'd have to pay $146 to replace the dang thing, i wasn't all that surprised. obviously i haven't been able to keep up with homework or study for quizzes, so i'm not making the best grades, but to make matters worse, money is really tight. i have enough money to buy a new book if i need to, but from here on out, things will be tight and will get tighter. as far as our household, dad still has no work, mom is no longer allowed to work overtime, and i'm more or less living off school loans. i knew the time would come when we'd have to seriously scale back on 'luxuries,' and i've been telling myself that i'd do fine when that time came, but lately i find myself spending money on groceries left and right with raw food experiments and what not. i had...

isn't he cute? tonight i got really frustrated with him. like, i-could-wring-your-neck frustrated. we've been going to the same (small) church for three years now, with the same 20 or so people, and somehow he still doesn't seem to know any of their names. these are people we hang out with on a weekly basis! people we are friends with! it escapes me! anyhow, after voicing my concern of his name-memorization skills, we went to whole foods, where he had the perfect chance to make fun of my memorization skills ("what's that stuff called? oh yeah, guacamole"). i think it's completely perfect that i have a relationship in which my significant other can make fun of me and i respond with ROFL-style laughter. he sure does drive me nuts some days, but i can't stay mad at a face like that. i'm a sucker :)

eric just left me a voicemail stating the his employer, Whole Foods, is going to be collecting and donating produce to the Peter's House meal ministry on a weekly basis! FANTASTIC.

i just bought these custom-made from etsy... and am eagerly awaiting the postman's arrival!

you can't tell anymore, but for a good 3 years or so i was vegan. i was very meticulous about what foods i ate and was always checking the ingredients label to make sure i was eating what i wanted. i was probably at my healthiest (and skinniest!) at that point in my life; i remember once i shocked my doctor when she took a blood test and found that my cholesterol was 27- i suppose you'll have that when you're not eating any animal products. anyhow... slowly i became lazy, decided i really loved kraft mac 'n' cheese, and eventually began eating meat again as well, which brings us to today- today i have very little discipline when it comes to my diet. i am a sucker for steak 'n' shake fries dipped in honey mustard, and i believe that the culver's down the street has the city's best cheeseburgers. truth be told, i am a sucker for "American" food- pizza, fries, 'fair food', ice cream, hotdogs, burgers, etc... and yet i loathe them ...