long dark blues

i was very irritated today to realize that someone had stolen my calculus textbook from my car. at first i thought that someone must be really bored to be stealing textbooks, but when i realized that i'd have to pay $146 to replace the dang thing, i wasn't all that surprised. obviously i haven't been able to keep up with homework or study for quizzes, so i'm not making the best grades, but to make matters worse, money is really tight. i have enough money to buy a new book if i need to, but from here on out, things will be tight and will get tighter. as far as our household, dad still has no work, mom is no longer allowed to work overtime, and i'm more or less living off school loans. i knew the time would come when we'd have to seriously scale back on 'luxuries,' and i've been telling myself that i'd do fine when that time came, but lately i find myself spending money on groceries left and right with raw food experiments and what not. i had...

isn't he cute? tonight i got really frustrated with him. like, i-could-wring-your-neck frustrated. we've been going to the same (small) church for three years now, with the same 20 or so people, and somehow he still doesn't seem to know any of their names. these are people we hang out with on a weekly basis! people we are friends with! it escapes me! anyhow, after voicing my concern of his name-memorization skills, we went to whole foods, where he had the perfect chance to make fun of my memorization skills ("what's that stuff called? oh yeah, guacamole"). i think it's completely perfect that i have a relationship in which my significant other can make fun of me and i respond with ROFL-style laughter. he sure does drive me nuts some days, but i can't stay mad at a face like that. i'm a sucker :)

eric just left me a voicemail stating the his employer, Whole Foods, is going to be collecting and donating produce to the Peter's House meal ministry on a weekly basis! FANTASTIC.

i just bought these custom-made from etsy... and am eagerly awaiting the postman's arrival!

you can't tell anymore, but for a good 3 years or so i was vegan. i was very meticulous about what foods i ate and was always checking the ingredients label to make sure i was eating what i wanted. i was probably at my healthiest (and skinniest!) at that point in my life; i remember once i shocked my doctor when she took a blood test and found that my cholesterol was 27- i suppose you'll have that when you're not eating any animal products. anyhow... slowly i became lazy, decided i really loved kraft mac 'n' cheese, and eventually began eating meat again as well, which brings us to today- today i have very little discipline when it comes to my diet. i am a sucker for steak 'n' shake fries dipped in honey mustard, and i believe that the culver's down the street has the city's best cheeseburgers. truth be told, i am a sucker for "American" food- pizza, fries, 'fair food', ice cream, hotdogs, burgers, etc... and yet i loathe them ...

i realize this is going to sound ridiculous, but every now and then during the process of waking up in the morning, i find myself humming a song that was in my dream. in my dreams i can write the most amazing stuff! but when i fully wake up, the song is long gone. sometimes as im dreaming lucidly i even try to sing out loud in an attempt to remember melodies. i remember once when i was in about 6th grade or so, i woke up singing, "i wanna go to jupiter, to jupiter, to jupiter..." of course i have no idea what the lyrics meant but for a 6th grader the melody was pretty impressive. do you ever come across songs that you think are just "genius"? it's hard for me to explain, but every now and then i encounter a song that just makes a lot of sense musically. i think i discovered Built to Spill 's "Goin' Against Your Mind" over a year ago and it is definitely one song that i will never, ever get sick of. i'm pretty sure that if there was a ...

lately i have been feeling very content, very happy with where i am in life. i think somewhere over the past few years i began to feel a great dischord between where my life was and where i wanted my life to be, if that makes any sense, and i can say with great relief that that period is behind me. lately through working at peter's house and just milling through daily life, i have come to feel as though God is truly using me, and for me that is the ultimate goal. i am definitely not perfect nor have i "arrived," but things are good . i've noticed that when i go to peter's house to hang out with the homeless folks, i genuinely care about them. i mother over them. i enjoy dishing out plates of food for them. and i dont feel endangered, even though the house is located in one of the worst areas of the city. the house truly has a peaceful feeling about it, and i get a great blessing from providing these folks with a healthy, home-cooked meal. i am 100% certai...