long dark blues

every year around this time i get crazy, cracked-out, pregnant-like cravings for reduced fat cheez-its. it's a little ridiculous. i'm not a snacky person, i like meals and maybe some fruit in between or at least something healthy... you will rarely see me snacking out of a bag of chips or box of cookies. until right about this time... it sounds crazy but my tongue tells me that every single activity i might have an interest in doing will be infinitely more enjoyable if i am eating cheez-its while doing so. sadly, sometimes it's true (insert sad "wah wah waaaah" noise here). of course this isnt helping my figure or my diet. i'm sure my kidneys are pretty pissed at me. i'm currently up to about a half-box a day! i can just see it now: intervention on the A&E channel- "i'm hooked on cheeze crackers"... a possibly healthier addiction i'm also dealing with is crocheting. i've mentioned it previously but something about fall j...

recently my pastor's wife Niccole and I decided we should start a stitch-n-bitch. i've been wanting to join one for a while and we have plenty of crafty ladies (and dudes) within our church body, so i was psyched to hear that Niccole would be willing to have the first official group night at her house ("are we gonna say 'bitch' at church?"). for anyone who doesnt know what a stitch-n-bitch is, it's usually a group of ladies (dudes can join!) who get together to crochet, knit, or do a similar craft activity and vent to each other. for someone who isn't married, with children, or a homeowner, this is my version of domestic bliss. while we only had 4 people in attendance, it was still lots of fun and a very satisfying way to spend a chilly fall evening. we dined on Pastor Danny's famous hot chocolate, peach crumble, chocolate chip cookies, and tea. I was inspired by my recent purchase of fingerless gloves, so i made these: i am still working on my c...

so within the last two years this awesome girl named amanda moved here from chicago, where they have an awesome handmade art event called Renegade Craft Fair . many have heard of it as it has become quite famous, and i've always wanted to go but never wanted to brave the drive to chicago. well, lo and behold, amanda brings to us hoosiers our own craft fair: Indieana Handicraft Exchange . i went last year and was so thrilled about it that i decided to have a booth at this year's event... unfortunately for me, that got put on hold when i became a full-time college student. however, i was bound and determined to get involved somehow, so i emailed amanda and asked her if i could get involved somehow. she put me to work with fliers and word-of-mouth advertising, and this past weekend when the event actually took place, i volunteered by cheerfully ushering patrons to the second gallery and giving vendors bathroom/lunch breaks. it was lots of fun and i'm already psyched for ...

sometimes i get really excited about new shoes. i'm such a nerd. tonight i found much peace through sipping chamomile tea, eating lemon poppyseed bread, and playing wordtwist- a game that is easy to get addicted to. its funny for me because almost all my life i've had little 'quirks' in my thinking...when i was little, if a song got caught in my head i had to hum it four times in a row before i could stop. i used to 'air type' words out in front of me. i used to spell words out in my head, one letter at a time, to the rhythm of songs on the radio. and now, thanks to wordtwist (brought to me by facebook), all those years of rearranging letters and words in my head can be put to great use. wheeee! i think i will play a few more games before i go watch michael moore's new documentary .

saturday eric and i had a picnic in the park. some chili, cornbread, and an awesome salad from whole foods. did i mention how much i love that he works at whole foods?! i told him he can never quit. after our picnic, we drove up to muncie to see some friends: (josh) (michelle, on the right, with baby heron) (allie, on the right, with shiloh) so once i upon a time, i myself lived in muncie while i went to ball state, and there was a chinese restaurant that was my most favorite ever because they had amazing bean curd. so after the show, i begged my friends to go there for dinner. i was glad when they obliged and i got to eat my most favorite 'bean curd home style.' however, i was not as glad when we all took turns barfing up the chinese food immediately after. china express is officially no longer my favorite chinese restaurant :( i'm off to study for a big math exam! wish me luck!

with all this talk about The Way lately, i was kinda intrigued by a program on TV tonight about cults and brainwashing. has anyone heard of Growing in Grace Ministries ? scariest thing ever! this guy believes he has "Jesus' mind", has his followers tattooing 666 on their forearms (because "religion" has been lying to us for years about its significance), has people doing whatever he asks, and has no problem saying that he's done more miracles than Jesus Christ. the sad thing is the number of followers he has... bright, charming young people who've bought into it. it really broke my heart and took my breath away. deception is something that really gets to me lately and this may take the cake.

on tuesday eric and i went to sigur ros in detroit with three other people. it was an amazing show for sure, although i couldn't see the stage for all the tall people in front of me (i'm 5'3" people!) and the two guys next to us were obnoxious the whole time (they aggravated 6 people to the point of leaving!). the trip to detroit was strange for me though, i realized it had been a really long time since i'd taken a road trip, let alone with 3 people i barely knew. i'm sure i gave off the 'wallflower' vibe, which is really fine with me as long as people don't misinterpret it. i promise i am working on being more socially adept. i've been growing mentally a lot lately, re-learning how to think and what to believe. in a spiritual sense, i've been deceived most of my life about who i am, and now i can see how other people have been deceived as well. it really lays heavy on my heart. hopefully my 'opening up' can help others to do the...